


amidst the chaos

by missymeggins



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M, minor spoiler for crypt of tears trailer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missymeggins/pseuds/missymeggins
Summary: Minor spoilers I guess for a line in the Crypt of Tears Trailer................There is something about the way Jack says "I'm not sure one lifetime will be enough to save the whole world" in the Crypt of Tears Trailer that comes across as slightly angry and Jack is usually only angry when Phryne is being reckless. @anotherthief gave me this lovely little line to play with, “You’re not the first person to love me Jack but you are first in so many other ways," and this is what my brain came up with.
Relationships: Phryne Fisher/Jack Robinson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 92





	amidst the chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Minor spoilers I guess for a line in the Crypt of Tears Trailer  
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> There is something about the way Jack says "I'm not sure one lifetime will be enough to save the whole world" in the Crypt of Tears Trailer that comes across as slightly angry and Jack is usually only angry when Phryne is being reckless. @anotherthief gave me this lovely little line to play with, “You’re not the first person to love me Jack but you are first in so many other ways," and this is what my brain came up with.

“I’m not sure that one lifetime will be enough for you to save the whole world,” he says curtly.

He’s angry with her - though he is, of course, as restrained as ever. It’s only the tension in his body and the lack of warmth in his gaze that gives it away and only because she knows him so very well.

She’s used to people being angry with her; it’s a hazard of the job, a hazard of her personality and her refusal to conform even. But she’s not used to it from him. He is so rarely angry, and even more rarely - angry with her. 

It turns out she finds it rather unbearable. 

So she does the only thing she can with all the feelings he has stirred up in her. She kisses him - knowing full well he will break away (rightly so) from her as quickly as he can but even so it’s an impulse she can’t contain. 

“You can’t just kiss me to avoid an argument,” he says firmly stepping backwards to put distance between them - though his hands don’t leave her arms. 

“I know,” she answers sincerely. “But that’s not why I kissed you.” 

“Then why,” he asks sounding tired now more than anything.

“Because I forget sometimes Jack.”

“Forget what.” 

“That you’re allowed to love me.” 

His eyes harden again. “Well thank goodness I have your permission Miss Fisher.” 

She sighs. “It’s not you who needed permission Jack.”

“Then I’m afraid I really don’t follow.” 

“Me, Jack. I needed it. What I forget sometimes is that I gave myself permission to be loved by you. And that means you have every right to be upset when I put myself in harms way, or make rash decisions without telling you. And I’m sorry that I forget sometimes Jack. I don’t mean to.”

“I’m still not sure I understand,” he says but he steps a little closer now.

She takes a breath, putting voice to something she has never gave much critical thought to until he entered her life. “The love I’ve known mostly wasn’t kind Jack. I think my father meant well but he didn’t love us the way I love Jane. The way a parent should love their child. The money made him softer but poverty made him cruel. And after the war there was Rene and his love was anything but kind - as you well know.” 

“That wasn’t love at all Phryne,” he says voice softening. 

“I know that now of course,” she says. “But I’m not sure that I did then. And after him I decided that I wasn’t interested in love. That it had nothing to offer me. I decided I could want lovers. I could have my freedom and my pleasure but I was sure that I didn’t want love. And then somehow you happened and at a certain point I realised I no longer had a choice. I loved you whether I wanted to or not.”

She steps closer now, hands coming to his chest. He doesn’t push her away. So she continues.

“And the part that scared me wasn't that I loved you. It was that I wasn’t sure I was capable of allowing someone to love _me_ and all that it would entail. It’s an adjustment for me Jack, to remember that your feelings matter. I know how awful that sounds but I am still getting used to the idea that the choices I make have an impact on you, that my life isn’t only my own to be reckless with - and that perhaps despite appearances I _want_ to consider that before I rush in.” 

She reaches for him, fingers dancing lightly across his cheek. “I didn’t mean to scare you Jack,” she tells him sincerely. 

“I know Phryne,” he says tenderly. “But you always will you know. I will never not be afraid of losing you. I’m sorry for that,” he says shaking his head. “I have never wanted to change you but there are moments sometimes that I fear for your safety and they overwhelm me.” 

She closes the last tiny amount of space between them, pressing close to him, one hand over his heart.

“You’re not the first person to love me Jack but you are first in so many other ways. Not the least of which is that you’re the first person I’ve ever been willing to try to change for, even a little.” 

He smiles at last. “Don’t change too much Phryne. I don’t think I could bear it.”

She relaxes into him as his arms come around her waist and he kisses her. 

“Just enough,” she promises.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a big Miss Fisher mood at the moment but don't have anything on the brain to write so would happily take some prompts if anyone's got something they'd like me to play with. Full disclosure I make no promises on a timely delivery, I'm a very haphazard writer.


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